I Love ParentHacks
Recently (i.e. it seems like forever), the boy has been testing my patience more and more - to the point that I just lose it and want to curl up in a ball because I can’t react like a man would to another man winding him up in a similar fashion…
Along comes the wonderful ParentHacks with a link to Tips For Controlling Your Temper. Wonderful! Especially the link to ‘The Problem’ is the problem — not the kid:
When I have a problem that concerns one of my kids (meaning: When I want them to do something that they refuse to do), I see that I have a choice. I could visualize my child standing on the other side of a line, next to “The Problem”, with me yelling across the line, “Hey, you better solve “The Problem.” Instead, I get myself to stand next to my child, with “The Problem” alone on the other side of the line, with me putting an arm around my child, saying “Hey, you and me, we’re gonna defeat “The Problem” together.” I find that this attitude seems to make my kids feel better about themselves. It minimizes/eliminates shame.
This approach is actually working well. I am so in debt to the ParentHacks folks that anytime they’re in the Seattle area, beers are on me!
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That is good advice. I'll try it out.
I have two that age of course, and they are both trying my patience in different but equally enraging ways! >:-(
What a great way to put it!! and your right next argument with my daughter I will try and put myself in your wise shoes and give it a shot. You know I think it may bring about better results than simply yelling :)